My American friend Bob

Dear Mom,

I miss you. How’s dad, Montu and Pampy and the little Unchi? I heard he’s really growing.
I have made a good friend here. His name is Bob.

Bob. Bob is big. (My Chinese friend Kim x 1.4) + 50 lb = Bob. Even Bob’s girlfriend is 3” taller, 35 lb heavier and 2.5” wider than me. One day Bob smashed his hand in my living room wall. The wall has a $200 expensive crater now. I’m scared of Bob when he gets drunk.

Bob. Bob is ignorant. Bob thinks ‘Bhutan’ is a verb and ‘Zaire’ belongs to zebra family. Bob thinks Iraqis are happy now and Sudan, Iran and North Korea are evil. Bob watches CNN and FOX. I’m concerned about Bob.

Bob. Bob is loud. Bob talks in same tone whether in class, Student Computing Center, bus, library or Kyle Field. Bob is 35 Db louder than my shriek. I think Bob should vary his speech.

Bob. Bob is articulate. Bob takes 30 seconds (including 17.5 seconds on ‘mmm’, ‘its like’ and ‘you know’) to explain what I can’t in 3 minutes. I wish I can talk like Bob.

Bob. Bob hates walking. Bob either runs around the campus or drives his truck. Bob thinks I’m crazy to walk 2 miles to campus. Bob makes fun of my late night walks. I think Bob is funny.

Bob. Bob is honest. Bob never cheats. Bob asks what he doesn’t understand. Bob works Monday-Thursday like a bull, then parties whole weekend. Bob does best with what he has and where he is. I learn so much from Bob.

Bob. Bob is aggressive. Bob loves to lead. Bob is never shy to meet people. Bob is the first to break conversations with beautiful girls. Bob crashes all parties. Bob doesn’t mind yawning in the face of Professor. I think Bob is wonderful.

Bob. Bob is a funny dresser. Bob wears flip-flops, baseball cap and pajamas to class. But on career fairs, Bob is the smartest of the lot. I think Bob should not wear flip-flops to class.

Bob. Bob is a geek. Bob carries Apple I-Pod, Texas Instrument calculator, Blackberry mobile and Dell laptop all the time. I think Bob should leave them alone sometime.

Bob. Bob is American.

Bob says hi.

Love you Mom
Rahul

OPINION ARTICLE FOR ‘THE BATTALION’: PUBLISHED ON FEB 23,2007
http://media.www.thebatt.com/media/storage/paper657/news/2007/02/23
/Opinion/Let-Me.Tell.You.About.My.American.Friend.Bob-2739031.shtml



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